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Do you want to start an Intentional Community?By Beverly Suek for Womens Housing Initiative Manitoba (WHIM)

Introduction

Have you decided that living alone or living with your son or daughter is just not working for you? Are there times that you would really like the company of someone your age with similar experience? Do you want to plan for a retirement that include more involvement in community rather than making Styrofoam snowmen to pass the time away?Are you sometimes lonely?If you answered yes to any of these, creating your own retirement community is an option to considerNow, intentional communities are not just for people over 40 or in the pre-retirement stage. Any age or gender can create an intentional community and share tasks and expenses with others. Much of the ideas in here will apply to anyone. However, the focus of this booklet is on women over 50, still working or retired. but choosing to not live alone.What is an Intentional Community?An intentional community is a planned residential community designed from the start to have a high degree of social cohesion and teamwork… They typically share responsibilities and resources. Intentional communities include collective households, cohousing communities, …. ecovillages and housing cooperatives. WikipediaThere are many different kinds of intentional communities in North America. In Paris, France, is Babayaga House which has been in the news. Some intentional communities have individual suites or separate houses but share common areas and may have dinners and events together. Others have a house and live together.Years ago, a group of us bought a 12 unit apartment block with separate suites and set it up as a women’s co-op. One person used the equity from her house as the down payment and we got a mortgage at a credit union for a non profit co-operative. It is still operating and they probably have cheap rent as the mortgage is now paid off. We had never bought an apartment block before but it was quite easy to do.There is also a group here in Winnipeg who worked together to build a 120 unit co-operative housing building. It took time and planning but has now been operating few a few years. Right now, I am living in an intentional community that we founded twelve years ago. I thought it was a way I wanted to live so I bought an old house with 6 bedrooms and just hoped that other women would feel the same. A bit of a long shot! But within a year, we had 6 women living together. We did not know each other before but we set up a selection process and developed policies together and it has worked for us. We live in a large house that allows for private space as well as common areas. Our objective at Women’s Housing Initiative Manitoba (WHIM) was to establish an intentional community for women over 50, to share costs, and ideas, and be supportive to one another, while still having private space. Co-housing to us means sharing a house with other women that is not just a place to live but a community of women. It is more than housing – it’s a home. The concept is to create a respectful environment, to learn from one another and from others, to use our knowledge and skills in a meaningful way, to be supportive of one another and to live life to the fullest. We are open to all cultures, spiritual beliefs and sexual orientation.

Advantages/DisadvantagesAdvantages•It’s cheaper. We share all the expenses and we live in a very nice older home with a sunroom, a hot tub, some balconies, guest rooms and lots of living space. The cost is from $750 to $1050, depending on the room size and amenities.(Called “share of expenses” and not “rent”)•The food is cheaper too. We each put in $70 a week for food and share the food. Everyone does shopping whenever they can.•Great dinners. Each of us only cook once a week and the rest of the time have wonderful home cooked dinners (not required to come for dinner if you’re busy elsewhere)•Some people worry that they won’t have privacy. Everyone’s room is private and you can choose to be alone or to have company.•Having company when you want is great. It’s nice to come home and have someone to share your day with, if you want.•One of the unexpected benefits has been that we learn new things every day. Room mates have different knowledge or experiences to share. We go to events with one or two room mates that we wouldn’t ordinarily do.•If you want to go to a movie or a play or a lecture, there is usually someone who would love to go with you.•We all travel a little or a lot, and there is always someone to take care of the house when we’re gone.•The monthly cost includes the cost of a housekeeper every 2 weeks and a lawn/snow service. Ya!•It feels safer to have house mates and, in case any of us get suddenly ill, there is someone there to help.

Disadvantages•You do need to be flexible. Everyone has a different way of loading the dishwasher or difference tolerance to mess. Its useful to be able to ignore the unimportant things, but equally useful to deal with things that are important.•People tell us they worry about conflict. In any relationship, there will be conflict. You have to be committed to dealing with conflict as soon as possible and in a respectful way.•There is an issue about incorporating all of everyone’s “things” into the home. (How many toasters can you have?) We try and put out items that are sentimental to residents and take turns putting out favourite knick knacks (how many knick knacks can you put out?). So storage places at home or a storage locker may need to be part of the plan.

What’s your objective? Can you answer the following questions?1.What groups do you want to include? Older women, all ages, men and women, couples? 2.Do you want to live in the city, close to amenities? Or in the country? 3.Do you want classy or affordable? 4.Do you want to have individual suites or shared housing? 5.Do you want to buy, build or renovate? 6.Do you want to have one owner with renters, incorporate as a business or partnership or form a co-operative? If the latter, will it be a for profit or non-profit? (Read info on line and consult a lawyer.)For WHIM, we opted for shared space, partly because it was more easily accomplished without a long planning process. And it can be started by one person.And I was that person. I knew I did not want to live alone. I wanted a place that was affordable for women over 50, and in the city, close to shops and buses. I bought a large house which has 6 bedrooms and 4 shared baths. I let people know what it was about and 4 women, who I did not know before, joined me. Initially, I owned it but a few years ago, we incorporated as a for profit co-op with all members the owners. We are now contemplating changing to a non-profit co-op.We all share the monthly expenses and we also contributed $100 monthly to a Contingency Fund for major repairs or appliance replacement. The monthly share of expenses covers all the expenses, including the mortgage. We each bought a share for $30,000 to cover the initial down payment and got a mortgage from a credit union. All you need is the down payment (25% to 30% of the cost) and a sympathetic financial institution.To get a mortgage, you may need to create a co-operative or a corporation. You will need a lawyer, who understands the concept, to be incorporated.Unfortunately, many women over 50 do not have a pension or much equity in a house or savings so financing needs to be as accessible as possible for those without many assets. Our PrinciplesThe following are our principles – yours may be different.•Support respect and equality for all•Not homophobic•Willing to help others•Able to resolve conflict in a respectful manner•Support environmental measures like recycling•Open to kids and family who visit•Non-smoker•Pets to be discussed (dogs yes but some are allergic to cats.)Organizational Structure There are many choices. This is where you need a lawyer to help choose, but here is a non-legal summary of the possibilities:A Sole Owner. One person owns the place and the others share the expenses.A co-operative. Incorporated as a co-operative and the co-op owns the place, with members paying a membership fee and expenses. Will it be for-profit or non-profit?Partnership. Every resident is a partner with equal money put into it and an equal share. This can be incorporated or unincorporated but either way, make sure you have well defined partnership agreement.Incorporated Company. Incorporated as an entity, like a business.Share Corporation. Similar but with different numbers of shares, so someone with less money can buy 100 shares while someone with more money can buy 1000 shares.BankingOpen a bank account is a first step. Even without an incorporated structure yet , you can open a bank account as an organization. It’s a good idea to choose a name and to establish yourself as an entity, right from the beginning. This means you can more easily keep track of income and expenses, and can be changed if you change the structure. Always have two signatures on every cheque.Getting New MembersIf someone indicates interest, we send them the “Invitation” (Appendix A) which outlines the principles and the basics about how we are organized.If they read the invitation and would like to explore this further, we give them a tour. No commitment yet! After the tour, if they are still interested, they are given an initial questionnaire to complete. (Appendix B) All members review the questionnaire and if they agree, a meeting time is arranged with all members and the new person to see if it’s right for them and us. We discuss with them the pros and cons and determine what is important to them to ensure that there is a match with other residents. Do they understand and agree with our principles?We are flexible and can work an arrangement that meets their needs if possible. We have some people who, because of jobs, have stayed for a year or two, and others who are here for as long as possible.But it is not a life time commitment. If it doesn’t work for someone, they can leave whenever they want – with notice of course.Contingency FundWe have a Continency Fund for repairs and maintenance and to cover lost revenue if we have a vacancy. We paid $100 each monthly. New members pay $500 non-refundable into the Contingency Fund. They also pay a refundable Security Deposit of $250.The group decides on what to spend the contingency fund on.ContractsNo matter what structure you choose, it is important to have some form of constitution that sets out the overall understanding. (Appendix C)Plus, as each person joins, there needs to be a contract between the group and the individual that sets out the expectations. Each contract is for a year and if things are not working out, it is understood that the contract will not be renewed. (Appendix D).Insurance. Most insurance companies are not familiar with the idea of an intentional community. For the first year, we paid an extraordinary amount for insurance because we were classified as a boarding house. We couldn’t get insurance for theft because the rate of thefts in boarding houses is high. We did find a better rate with Co-operators Insurance, but are still classified as a boarding house.Zoning It is similar with zoning laws. Most cities only have a boarding house classification and you may have to apply for a variance to have a “boarding house” in a residential neighbourhood. Our house had been duplexed and also previously classified as a Bed and Breakfast, so zoning was less of an issue.Once you have more than 3 non-family members living together, you can be considered a boarding house, depending on municipal by laws.It’s up to you when, how and if you apply for a variance. Keeping in TuneOnce you are set up, there needs to be regular meetings to work out different perspectives and to develop polices on how you will live together.We have found that it is best to start the meeting with an exercise or game, that helps us get to know each other better. And a check-in to make sure everyone is okay. Then we deal with the things that need to be done.We take turns chairing, recording and dreaming up the exercise.Decisions made, if appropriate, are turned into policies.Sharing TasksWe have a list of ongoing tasks, and everyone has a couple that they do regularly, like water plants or take out the garbage. They don’t have to do it but they have to make sure it gets done. (Appendix E)We also have occasional tasks – that is things that need to be fixed or painted or moved. Or gardening. Or finding a housekeeper. Or laying a rug. Everyone picks a couple and does them.Having Fun TogetherFor us, it has been important to have fun together but also to be involved with others in debate and social issues. So, we have organized events. We have had a lobster party and a murder mystery dinner. We have invited people to write letters for Amnesty International. We had a “Salon” to discuss the Truth and Reconciliation Report. And an even watched the US election and Canada Women’s Soccer Finals with a group of women.Each of us has outside interests of our own – Make Poverty History, Women’s March, the Church, Breakfast with Santa at the community centre, elections, Equal Voice, to name a few.And in closing…We want to be engaged in the community and in the world. We want to travel. We want to contribute. We want to be intellectually challenged. We want to be aware of what is going on in the community and in the world.. Being in an an intentional community helps us stay connected to the world!Appendix A – The Invitation 235 Oakwood AveInvitation for Women Interested in Co-HousingWHIM (Women’s Housing Initiative Manitoba)1.What is WHIM? The objective of WHIM is to establish an intentional community for women over 50, to share costs, and ideas, and be supportive to one another, while still having private space. The concept is called co-housing.Co-housing means sharing a house with other women that is not just a place to live but a community of women. It is more than housing. The concept is to create a respectful environment, to learn from one another and from others, to use our knowledge and skills in a meaningful way, to be supportive of one another and to live life to the fullest. We are open to all cultures, spiritual beliefs and sexual orientation.2.Criteria for consideration-Women-Middle aged to older-Interested in sharing a house, costs-Interested in creating an “intentional community”-Not interested in spending their lives playing cards and bingo but more interested in expanding their minds, contributing to the community at large in meaningful way and having fun.3.Where?A house has been renovated to accommodate this concept. It is at 235 Oakwood Ave in Riverview, across from Fisher Park and 3 blocks from Osborne St South.The house is a 3 storey with 5 to 6 possible bedrooms, with an additional bedroom in the basement. Two bedrooms on the main floor are accessible and there are plans for a chair lift in the future to the second floor for greater accessibility. Privacy is important to us all. To allow for your own personal space, each bedroom is big enough for a bed, a comfy chair, a desk and if you wish, a TV. Some are bigger than others. The non-bedroom areas are shared by all, including a large sunroom.There are three shared bathrooms.There is also a kitchen/art space on the second floor. On the first floor is a living room, dining room, office, large family room and kitchen.The basement is partially finished and has laundry, a tool room, an exercise room and a guest room for friends and family.Outside is a hot tub, a deck, a double garage, and a green space (or garden). Across the street is a park with a running or walking track. On Osborne Street (walking distance) is a Safeway, library, Fort Rouge Leisure Centre with activities and exercise room, Park Theatre, 3 good restaurants and a pharmacy.4.CostThe objective is to have at least 5 people sharing expenses and the cost is based on 5. With 6 or more, the cost would be reduced. The following chart represents the costs. Included are costs which are over and above usual housing costs, like housekeeper.This is not a room rental like a boarding house! This is people sharing every non-bedroom room and amenity. This is about creating a community and SHARING expenses, not about paying rent. But, the following is only a guideline to provide information for women considering this option to get an idea of costs.Monthly Expenses (Note: this is from 2018. Has increased since then)Mortgage1750.00On $340,000Taxes420.005048.55 annuallyUtilities (gas, electric, water)643.00Water 150Electricity and gas 493Security System40.00Lawn care/snow105.00Insurance (house)310.003720 annuallyInternet/TV/phone168.00House keeper200.00TOTAL3636.00With 6 people, monthly average cost is $727.20 (but different amounts based on room size and amenities)The percentage of your share would depend on the size of the room, location and amenities, with some more; some less. Contingency FundThere is also a Contingency Fund for Repairs and Maintenance, Loss of income, major appliance replacement etcFood CostsFood cost are shared. ($70 per week)Food cost are in addition to share5.StuffSome people have said “But what do I do with my stuff?” Wherever we can, we can amalgamate some of your stuff with what is here already. We would like to be able to accommodate those things that are special to you, like pictures or Great Aunt Anna’s teapot. For others, there are several storage spots in the house, but large furniture may not be accommodated. We would suggest you check out storage places until you are sure this is right for you.6.GuidelinesInterested women will be met with to discuss the pros and cons and determine what is important to them to ensure that there is a match with other residents. Guidelines will be established as a group but here are some:•Support respect and equality for all•Not homophobic•Willing to help others•Able to resolve conflict in a respectful manner•Support environmental measures like recycling•Open to kids and family who visit•Non-smoker•Pets to be discussed (dogs yes but some allergic to cats.)7.How do I apply?If this interests you, email WHIM at WHIM235@gmail.com. If you would like to explore this further, let us know. No commitment yet! Come for a tour. Think about it.After the tour, if you are still interested, you will be sent an initial questionnaire to complete. After that, we can set up a meeting time and see if it’s right for you and us. We are flexible and can work out an arrangement that meets your needs and ours. Possibly, the plan would be for you to move in, bring some furniture and put some furniture in storage for 6 months. At the end of 6 months, you and we can decide if we want to continue. If yes, we can make room for more of your furniture. If not, we will have had an interesting experience!Appendix B -QuestionnaireExpression of InterestName:Address:Telephone number:Children? ___ Grandchildren? ____(How many)Background(use backside of paper for more comments)1.What aspects of co-housing appeal to you most?2.What are you concerned about?3.Do you like people dropping by (friends and family) or do you want that limited? (Mark where you are on this scale)Open………………………………………………………………………………………………Limited4.Can family and friends stay over in guest room? Yes □ No □ Maybe □For how long. Mark all that are okay with youOne day here and there □A week□Two weeks□More than two weeks □Longer if approved by other members □5.Are pets okay with you? Yes □ No □ Maybe □Any kind not okay?6.Do you have allergies? To what?7.Do you have health conditions or limitations? Please list.8.What do you like doing? Some people like some tasks better than others. No one likes taking out garbage but it has to be done. Rate the following in terms of “have to be done” to “enjoy doing”Cooking: Have to be done………………………………………………………………EnjoySewing: Have to be done……………………………………………………………….EnjoyFixing things: Have to be done……………………………………………………….EnjoyGardening: Have to be done……………………………………………………………EnjoyCleaning: Have to be done………………………………………………………………EnjoyShopping: Have to be done………………………………………………………………EnjoyPainting: Have to be done………………………………………………………………Enjoy9.Some people are fanatically neat and others are slobs. Where are you? Fanatic…………………………………………………………………………………………………..Slob10.Do you want room for a hobby or for exercise? For what? What do you need?11.Do you feel that we should share cars (i.e. 3 cars between 5 people?) Yes □ No □ Maybe □12. Should we share food or keep separate food stashes?Share □ Stash □ Comment?13.Would you like to see events at the house like singing nights, or community meetings, etc, Yes □ No □ Maybe □14.We have a hot tub outside. Would you use it? Yes □ No □ Maybe □15. The house is non-smoking, period.16. Any ideas how we can deal with differences and resolve conflict respectfully?17.Would you like us to be involved in the community e.g. events at the community centre, helping immigrant families, red nose, etc? Ideas?18. One of the goals is to help one another. What happens when a member is unable to take care of themselves?19. We need to work on a structure – non-profit, or co-owners or co-op, or one owner. Any thoughts? 20.Do you want to have equity (investment in the house) or does it matter?21.We need a process for making decisions on such things as repairs, etc. Any ideas on doing that?22. What are the most important things to you?Appendix C – Example PoliciesPolicy on Conflict ResolutionObjective: Dealing with conflict as it arises is an important component of a sharing household. This policy is to articulate principles and processes for resolving conflict.Principle:•It is understood by all that individuals have different perspectives and therefore conflict is a given. What is important is what we do with conflict.•We emphasize the need for respect of the others in dealing with a conflict situation.•We value the principle of dealing with the person directly first.•Conflict needs to be dealt with as soon as possible and not be allowed to grow bigger than necessary.Process:If a conflict arises, choose a good time and place, and discuss the issue respectfully with the person involved. Try to reach a conclusion that is satisfactory to both.If an agreement can not be reached, bring the issue to a monthly meeting with all members.If it still can not be resolved, an outsider will be asked to mediatePolicy on Family and FriendsObjective: WHIM welcomes family and friends. Dropping In: Family and friends can drop in any reasonable hours. Friends should knock or ring the bell. With family, it is preferable if they ring the bell or knock, and then walk in and shout “It’s just ___”.Feel free to invite family or friends to dinner, but ask the cook first.Residents can have parties or meetings whenever they want, within reasonable limits, unless it conflicts with someone who has already booked an event. Booking sheet is on the bulletin board. If it a party with residents friends alone, the rest of us will hide out elsewhere.Bedrooms, however, are private and cannot be entered by other residents, family members or friends without the permission of the resident of the bedroom.If a particularly rowdy party is planned, WHIM residents need to agree in advance to put up with the noise for a special occasion.Guest Room: Family and friends can stay overnight, either in the resident’s room or in the guest room. If a larger number, WHIM residents can work to figure out how to accommodate them.Guests staying in the guest room need to be booked on the Guest Room calendar on the bulletin board.Two weeks is the maximum stay for guests. Longer stays need to be agreed to be all WHIM residents. However, no one can move in for long periods of time without the agreement of a majority of members of WHIM.Policy on Food/Kitchen TasksObjective: To ensure that food costs, preparation and related tasks are equally shared.Principles:-Everyone has one day that they cook and at least two days that they clean after dinner-No one is obliged to be there for dinner, but it is expected that you text or call the cook 2 hours in advance if you aren’t going to be there (Unpredictable absences are understood)-Everyone pitches in for non-assigned days or during the day – like filling or emptying dishwasher, doing dishes by hand, sweeping, wiping counters, taking out garbage or recyclables etc. Sometimes cleaning out the fridge. This is not assigned but on a voluntary basis.-Different people have different food requirements and we will be accommodating as much as possible when cooking.-Generally, all food is shared. If you want to save something particular for your lunch, put your name on it. If you want to buy something special for yourself, keep it in the downstairs fridge with your name on it – but this is the exception, not the rule.Process:1.A cooking schedule will be posted and residents can sign up for the days most convenient to them.2.If you are unable to do it, you can switch with someone else.3.Meal time generally is 6 pm.Buying food:-Anyone can buy food but check what we have so we don’t over buy anything.-Everyone puts cash in an envelope. This will be an agreed on amount and may vary if the food amount is too low or too high.-When you buy something, put the receipt in the envelope with your name and take out that amount of money.-If you are away for a few days, the weekly amount still applies. (Example $50/week) If you are gone regularly for more than 3 days a week, you pay ½ the amount for the weeks you are partly away ($25). If you are gone for more than a full week, you pay for the first week you are gone, but not for subsequent weeks. Appendix D – Shared tasksShared TasksObjective: It is recognized that to run smoothly, certain tasks must be performed by residents. Some will be individual, some will be shared and some will be hired out. However, the objective is that all residents contribute equally to the operation of the house.The standard of cleanliness is clean and sanitary but messy to some degree is acceptable.Individual Tasks: Each resident will keep their own room in whatever state they prefer – messy or super clean. The only condition is that food not be left around to attract critters.Shared Tasks: •Dinner - everyone makes dinner once a week. No one is required to be there for dinner but a call or text to the cook if you are missing would be appreciated.•Breakfast, lunch, tea, etc – everyone is on their own unless you want to offer to share.•Kitchen is cleaned by all on an ongoing basis•General tidiness – everyone generally picks up stuff and puts it away.•Bathrooms on each floor will be shared by the residents on that floor for cleaning etc. They can work out how that is done. However, other residents and guests can use those bathrooms whenever it is needed.General Living Tasks:Our intention is not that everyone does the same tasks but that we respect everyone’s individual preferences and talents, wherever we can. There are ongoing tasks and tasks that are occasional, like planting the garden. (see page 2) The residents will meet and determine how the tasks will be allocated.Hired tasks:•Lawn care and snow shovelling will be contracted out•Housekeeping and lawn care will be contracted out.•Other tasks, like window washing or cleaning the eaves will be hired outDaily Tasks•Kitchen and sweeping kitchen•Putting stuff awayWeekly Shared Tasks•Watering plants outside•Grocery Shopping•Running errands•Take out garbage and compost•Weeding garden•Cleaning generally•Gardening generallyThe following are the people who oversee that things get done but don’t necessarily DO them themselves.TaskLead Person Plan and put in vegetable garden (get others to help plant, water, weed and harvest)Make sure garbage and recycles get out (Just as a monitor)Water plants (indoor)Plan and put in flowers. Water (get others to help plant and weed)Arrange for lawn care. Call if there are problems (Class A)Update task list and get volunteers for things that need to be done.Maintain contact with housekeeper.Pay bills.Report quarterly on how we are doingCheck food contributions. (Enough $ or too much?)Keep track of Slush Fund. Envelope on bulletin boardRespond to requests for info from individualsRespond to requests for info from mediaMake sure there are co-housing meetings. Renders, agendaMaintain bulletin board.Edit and present policies for discussion.Not Ongoing (Examples)Paint 1.guest room in basement, 2.trim on door to sunporch3.window trim4.pink bench5.outside table and chairs (out front, west side)6.outside table and chairsReorganize attic storageDevelop simple website for WHIMPut in air conditionersCovers on pipes in basement Clean out garage for cars. Bike holdersWeather stripping on 3 to 5 doorsFix garage windowsMove furniture to accommodate KatherineFix back gateReplace handle on gate to hot tubGet rid of garbage behind fenceGet garage door fixedAppendix E – ContractsContract between Resident and Women’s Housing Initiative Manitoba (WHIM)This contract is between ________, a resident of WHIM as of July 1, 2016, and WHIM Inc.The resident, ___________, agrees to the following terms:1.I understand that this contract is for 6 months from ______. After 6 months, I will leave the residence unless a new agreement is signed.2.I will abide by the policies and values established by the group, as follows but not limited to:•Respect and equality for all•Not homophobic•Willing to help others•Able to resolve conflict in a respectful manner•Support environmental measures like recycling•Open to kids and family who visit•Non-smoker3.I will participate actively in setting up and/or revising the policies for the governance of WHIM, including 75% attendance at weekly dinner meetings.4.I will participate in the tasks required to operate a shared space, like cleaning, fixing, making dinner once a week, etc.5.I will deal with differences and resolve conflict and contribute to a healthy and happy living environment.6.I will pay my share of expenses monthly and on time. Payment is due, in advance, on the first of each month. When joining, the first month is paid in advance. After that, the monthly amount is based on the average expenses of the previous six months. Based on this, the monthly share is $750.00.7.I understand that missing a payment in a month will lead to:•A warning letter after 2 weeks past the due date•A second late or missing payment will result in a notice to leave, with 1 month notice.8. In the event I decide to leave WHIM, I will give 3 months’ notice. 9.I understand that the security deposit of $250 will be returned if there is no damage caused by me. 10.A contribution of $250 to the maintenance fund is due on signing and will not be returned. A further $250 is when and if a new contract is signed. 11.The monthly share of expenses is ______ but can be adjusted if expenses are higher or lower.12.If a 2/3 majority of WHIM members decide that I am not compatible to the group, I will be given 3 months’ notice in order to relocate. However, if there is cause (i.e. stealing from members, unruly behaviour, etc.) I will be asked to leave immediately._________________________ ____________________________ ResidentDate_________________________ ______________________________WHIM RepresentativeDate__________________________ _____________________________